So This Is College

College—where study life is loose and easy. Or so I thought. It’s not. College life is hard. It is where we go to high school raised to the nth power. How’s that? Loaded with so much school work that’ll result to sleepless nights and a “weekday-weekend.” It’s a drastic transition for me from HS to college. Social and academic pressures are apparent and greatly felt, my time management skills are also being tested (which I’m currently working on). The environment is also different because I get to interact with diverse people-both students and teachers and eventually I have to open up to such. It wasn’t easy and comfortable because you get to find new friends and be out of your comfort zone. Whenever I’m with my new college friends, I usually tend to remember my high school friends and imagine that what if they were here with me and what would their reaction be if they’re in the same kind of situation as I am but that can’t happen because our colleges are all separated. No matter how I try to bring back what was left behind, it’s all behind me and I just gotta move on, only bringing the memories that I had.

Waking up to each day, I require myself to open up to the new things which I haven’t been used to because if I don’t I’ll get screwed and isolated in the end and even if I don’t want to, I should. I must. It’s not easy to start over but what’s good about this is that I have a new beginning to accomplish what wasn’t. I’m still in the process of getting used to what I’m doing and it’s a good thing that I’ve come to realize that I shouldn’t complain and wish that things should somehow be like this and that but wholeheartedly accept that I’m in a new realm and that I should love and be used with what I’m studying because I’m gonna be doing this for the next 4 years of my life. I wished that I didn’t have to go through being a college freshman and be in awkward, alien situations… but that’s lame, yeah, everyone goes through it. It’s another fresh season that I’m given.

I’m in the 2nd month of my first year and I’m doing well 🙂 Our first shifting has ended and I’ve receive a few of my grades. They’re good 🙂 But I’m still praying that I’ll get a 2.5 grade and above in Math DX I’m actually having a hard time dealing with numbers. I’m frustrated with it! It’s been hunting me down since high school and it hasn’t stopped in doing so. Ugh. Yes, I need numbers for me to count my allowance and my future wage but that just includes basic math and not algebra. X/ 🙂 I told my best friend about this and she told me that I can do this, that I’m the Sam who won’t give up. And she’s right. I can do this! I’m the Sam who won’t give up! LET’S DO THIS!! bring it on Math and college life!! Lol. X) Thank God that he’s my strength all along because starting from the very first day of school and when I’m attending church for the youth service every Fridays,, I can’t help but to cry to God that I’m physically and emotionally tired but He keeps reminding me that it’s going to be okay, He loves me and that He’s got a purpose for me that’s why I’m in UST. It’s crucial but it’ll pull through. 🙂

Shake it off~~

Gracious God

These past 4 days, I was VERY pressured towards my studies. August 30, 31 and September 1 – when I took my First Quarterly Exams, are those days when pressure was building up in me. Since I’m striving hard for being the top of my class, I’m studying really hard which I didn’t know that I was pressuring myself, and the most critical thing is that I don’t have the joy in the kind of studying system I was doing. I was so desperate in having the highest place in our class… for reputation and fame. I had this longing of being known as the smartest in class or smarter than this/that person, thinking that being the first would make my life happier.

Being pressured for a time, the enemy used it to me for me to be more pressured in studying, for me to desperately study so that I might get the highest position. But… everything was so wrong. I knew and felt in my heart that I had a wicked desire. I told God about those things and waited for Him to answer but He was silent. I cried and cried because there was no peace, no rest in me. The fear, the pressure was so big that I magnified those things instead of magnifying God. God’s answers for me didn’t show in one moment. I talked to my older Christian sisters (Honi and Hannah) about what I was experiencing.

There also came a time, in the night of September 1, 2012, I didn’t sleep well because my mind was filled of fears and lies. I was so, so, so scared. I even woke my half-asleep sister to pray for me. I prayed, someone prayed for me… it got good but not so good. I didn’t know what to do that night… What happened next? God commanded me to speak in tongues and there! The Holy Spirit’s power is just… I don’t know. Too wonderful and mesmerizing to describe! While speaking in tongues, I felt the fear going out of me, God pulling it out of me, like there was something so heavy I’m carrying and God took that heavy burden from me then after it I felt peace, my heart felt light and I slept. When I closed my eyes and while waiting myself to completely sleep, God is so cute and amazing because He sung lullabies to me (Sleep my beautiful baby Sam). 🙂 ❤

Those days were so hard and so painful but it didn’t last. I hated what I was feeling and experiencing yet God is compassionate, gracious and merciful because he helped me and lifted me up beneath the waters. God put peace, rest and joy in me. I praise and worship God for these things and for who He is. Thank You. Thank You Jesus. Thank you and I love You! 😀 ❤

Lies Faith; Doubt Believe;Not contented! Thanks, God!;Keep and hide Tell and surrender; Pressure and stress Joy and Enjoy 🙂

‘Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me,“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.’  -2 Corinthians 12:8,9

(Crepuscular Light by K-Sister.1 on Flickr.)

I believe that my position will not dictate who I am. What’s important is my heart and what God thinks about me.

‘Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you,’ -1 Thessalonians 4:11

**Thank you Ate Honi, Ate Hannah, Teacher Joy, and Ate Bianca for praying for me. 🙂

Biological Reflection Notebook: Accomplished (by the grace of God!)

July 30, 2012|Monday

It seemed so impossible for me to finish my project (Reflection Notebook) in Biology. Not only intelligence should be used here but also money for the materials to be bought for the project. What made me worried and nervous is the ‘money part’ because we’re having a financial problem but by the grace of God He provided for me and I was able to do it! I did the project for 5 hours! It made my shoulders and back hurt. It wasn’t totally accomplished. Drawings are still needed to be finished.

July 31, 2012|Tuesday

This day is the day of submitting our Reflection Notebook. In the morning at school, my classmates were asking me if they could see mine since we were all curious about one another’s project. I hesitated a little but showed them at the end. The sleepy and tired feeling faded because of their positive compliments like – “Cool!!”;”Wow! I can clearly see the effort poured out on this!!”;”Looks fine!” …WAAA!!! ALL GLORY TO GOD!! THANK YOU LORD!! X]]]

I continued doing the things that should be done, and truly accomplish it during our Recess time since our Biology meeting(s) is after Recess and Lunch.

…I also want you to see what my Reflection Notebook looks but unfortunately of course it’s in my teacher’s hands right now.

😀

Why I excel? It’s because of Someone.

I love getting high grades! It makes me go…

Getting satisfactory or perfect grades feels and it is brilliant! …Whenever I’m in that kind of moment it’s VERY dangerous because it can lead to boastfulness and haughtiness but I really really thank God for His grace because His Holy Spirit reminds me that it’s because of Someone why I excel in my studies. Who’s that Someone? It is JESUS. 

JESUS

• my INSPIRATION and MOTIVATION
• the one who gives me grace, strength, knowledge, wisdom and understanding
• who gives me hope and encouragement whenever I feel like giving up to answer/solve a certain problem
• who deserves all the glory, honor, and praises

The compliments I get, it all goes back to Jesus because He’s the reason why. Not my own ability. Not me.

Well… not to brag but I also have the right to say that… I’m very proud (in a good way) of my achievements!! Thank you Lord! Yi-eah! ;D

Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.” -1 Corinthians 1:31

A 2nd Year High School Lady’s 2nd Week of School

Math and I are getting along with each other but English and I aren’t. In our History subject we did a good job 🙂 in our role play-report about ‘The Scarborough Shoal standoff between China and the Philippines’. Thank you Jesus! I appreciate my group mates because even though they told me that they were nervous of their acting outcome, they did it and I know that in them and also in you there’s a great hidden ability.