Realizing what I had when you were “mine”

I have a crush but aside from him I have this person who’s special to me. I don’t know but I really miss him. As in I really miss him. I don’t have a boyfriend, puppy love or anything but what I’m talking about is my guy friend who is of course a friend. Now we are in another, new, school year. I miss him a lot. I miss him so much. Argh. Whenever I look at him in school… I don’t know. I don’t know if I just miss him or… I really do like him. Yes I’m young…. I have feelings too. My song for him is ‘Back to December’. I regret the times when he was just beside me and I think or like for real, I treated him harshly. Not the ‘harsh’ harsh but I was, honestly, mean in the past year. I regret those times and I wish that I should have shown care for him. 😦 I wonder if he thinks about me at times. Surely he still remembers me… hopefully. Sorry for being so emotional and mushy. That’s just how I feel right now.

To: that guy I’m talking about

At first when I saw you I thought you were cute but you weren’t until I discovered your real personality. Even though I get angry because of your unpleasant attitudes, that anger was always erased because of the care you’ve showed me. And just to inform you, I realized that you really have a face. I mean you’re handsome/cute. Whatever. I don’t know. How are you? Are you still the guy I have known before? The guy who has a bad personality? I hope you’ve changed or I hope you’re changing. I miss you. A lot.

From: No other than, me, of course

Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again, I swear I’d love you right

I’d go back in time and change it, but I can’t
So if the chain is on your door, I understand

This is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I’m sorry for that night
And I go back to December

It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you
Wishing I’d realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

-Back to December by Taylor Swift

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